My life is ruined...?

i just moved up to high school and im really hating it. for a lot of reasons. ok this is gonna sound pretty self absorbed, but i was part of the popular group in primary school. but now ive moved i havent been able to fit in with the popular crowd AT ALL. i have friends, and theyre awesome, but i just feel like crap! to start with, no guys like me or anything. and one of them sometimes is really mean to me, and i dont know what to do to make him befriend me. i dont think im that bad, although probably i am. the guy i like talks to like, every other girl, but when it comes to me, im just that emo girl. recently we went on camp, and i was particularly angry that day, so everyone thinks i have anger management problems. i mean, i was a bit crazy, but they shouldnt judge me on 1 day. they also think im insane and emo because somehow, the word got out that i have a freaky obsession with blood. i dont know who told anyone, but now people give me **** about it and it just makes me want to die :( i look at all the other girls and theyre laughing and hanging around with boys and theres this one girl, whose reaaallllyyy nice, and friendly, and the guy i kinda (kinda) like likes her, because shes awesome. he compliments others, but not me. not that i need his attention, cos hes kinda a , but you know its nice to feel loved. i miss my best friend (we go to different schools) and her parents are really strict so i hardly get to see her. i think im ugly and fat and mental, and i know its true, because lots of people think im crazy. i feel like crying all the time (but i never do) and i act all happy at home but inside im dying. i dont want to live anymore but at the same time im scared of comitting suicide which makes me think im a coward. this doesnt even explain my problems fully but i think ive gone on enough. so what should i do? i dont want to talk to my parents, theyll probably make me do counselling or some ****. plus my mum has mental issues like depression and anxiety so i dont want to get her all worked up. she knows i like blood but she doesnt know about my obsession, and i aim to keep it that way. i think im overreacting, which makes me hate myself even more. i want people to like me, but i dont want to make friends with the populars cos theyre bitches. i want that boy to like me, but i dont think it will happen. he talks to me sometimes, but usually its just small comments here and there. i hate my life and i want help. please help?